My mental picture of retirement is hanging out with my geriatric buddies on a fishing boat off Hawaiian shores talking about football games, how to fix the ‘slice’ on my golf game and the best time to hit up the breakfast buffet before the bingo ladies show up.
How about sitting on a beach in Cabo San Lucas soaking up the suns rays and wading into the water with fins and a snorkel to chase schools of fish around an inlet? Now that’s what retirement should be.
So WHY do retired professional athletes always have this nagging itch to come back when they should have stayed back? Why can’t they write a note to themselves that says, “I’m unemployed, rich and walking without a cane. Life is good!” and post it on the refrigerator door so they see it every time they go to grab a Slim-Fast or Metamucil? Instead, they want to get out there and prove that they can still run with the young ‘uns. Even some of the best who walked away from their respective sports in their prime, (Michael Jordan and Brett Favre immediately come to mind) come back and eventually sully an otherwise illustrious career.
Well, add Hershel Walker to the list of guys who need to “Just say No!” Dude is talking about coming back because he feels like he still has something to offer the NFL. In the meantime, he’s created a bit of a promotions love-fest with MMA. He has a fight scheduled (only his second as an MMA fighter) for tomorrow night against Scott Carson, a guy who has just as little experience as Walker.
Hey Hershel, you’re 49-years-old and you really do look great for your age, but c’mon, give the body and the mind a rest! If you’re bored, get a job at WalMart as a greeter, clean tables at Chili’s but don’t make yourself into a spectacle.
You don’t often hear a 70-year-old concrete truck driver say, “I’m getting back in the drivers seat ’cause I miss the feeling of the vertebrae in my back collapsing like a set of dominoes every time I run over a pot hole”.
I’ve never run into a retired coal miner who says, “I’m going back into the mines because I miss the burn of that dank, musty, sooty air and the possibility of having a ton of rocks and debris burying me so that my family can mourn me sooner no later.”
Is it too much to ask retired athletes to stay retired and let someone else take a crack at stardom? You gave us some great moments and a lot of good memories to talk about but seriously? No one wants to see you break a bone or take another blow to the head.