I have the key, who has the lock?

Key to nothing

I didn't lose a key but if you find Alicia Keys let me know

From our Security Desk at work we received the following mass email:

“To the individual that claimed this key on Wednesday….are you sure that this was your key. Another individual is claiming that it maybe theirs….Have you tried the key out yet???”

I wanted so badly to reply with one of the following responses:

  • “I tried it out on every car in the parking lot but it didn’t fit. It might not be mine but I’ll keep trying.”
  • “Does the key belong to a husband and wife team? I see a case of domestic violence in your future.”
  • “I thought it was mine, but realized after two days that I can’t afford the insurance for a BMW.”
  • “Your mini-van runs smooth, but it is NOT a chick magnet.”
  • “Thanks for the ride. I parked your Pinto in the 70’s.”
  • “Yes, I tried it and yo mama is still in the trunk.”
  • “Try not. Do or do not…Love Yoda!”
  • “I made copies so we can all try it!”
  • “I used all of your prescription drugs but drew the line at the crack cocaine in the car seat. I left the key with the cops.”

Not sure how that would have gone over in a corporate culture that numbers in the thousands and I’m not eager to lose my job over it. But I was tempted.

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2 Responses to I have the key, who has the lock?

  1. hahahah!! some people are so stupid

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