I was never born to be a scientist. The sciences scare me. As a teen I was fascinated by the real world concepts of science but theories, algorithms, force, mass, environment, pathology; all of these things and more confuse me and fascinate me at the same time.
On Sunday someone was asking me what I thought about quantum physics or quantum mechanics… Errr… I don’t think about it because it gives me a headache and I don’t enjoy having my brain feel like its being bent into a pretzel. The only exposure I’ve had to quantum physics was explained to me by a mad American science teacher at Pesega whose ranting pushed me further and further away from the sciences and closer to the beach where I longed to soak away my high school blues.
Lately all the science I need is in a movie theater where the instructor is Leonardo di Caprio, the lesson is gift wrapped with a title like “Inception” and the only scientific method I’m using is a lever in the form of my elbow alternating between my popcorn and my drink, forcing buttery popped kernels into my mouth and washing it down with Coke.
Despite my apprehension and apathy for scientific theory, I have found that in my life, there are real world applications. For example, this morning I had a thought about centrifugal force a very complex scientific concept for me. But the definition of this model of thought can be applied to my relationships with others.
noun ~ An outward force on a body rotating about an axis, assumed equal and opposite to the centripetal force and postulated to account for the phenomena seen by an observer in the rotating body.
Is your head spinning? Do you know what a centrifuge does? In layman terms it’s an apparatus that spins the crap out of crap to separate some crap from the other crap. Make sense? Yeah I know, real Isaac Newton over here, right?
And what does centrifugal force and a centrifuge have to do with me and my relationship to others? Well, it’s a stretch but here’s my theory: Sometimes my personality can be grating. I can be annoying in the sense that I over-analyze things, I’m often cynical and I’m almost always sarcastic. At any given time on any given day I could be your best ally and your worst critic. You may walk away from a conversation we’ve had thinking, “Who’s the bi-polar guy and what did he do with my friend Seti?”
I’m the friend that everyone loves to hate because I will drill you with questions like a detective trying to corner a suspect but I do that because, like a centrifuge, I want to separate some crap in order to get to the heart of the crap. As your friend, there is really only one motivation and method to my madness: it is to be the best friend that I can possibly be, by having honest dialogue.
If I am honest in our friendship and relationship I will say things that may seem polarizing, they may cause you to be angry, annoyed maybe even repulsed by me. It may cause you to remove yourself from the conversation because you’ll have a sudden urge to kick me in the face. But in the end I hope that you’ll realize that even though my opinion pushed you away momentarily, my true intentions are to draw you closer because in order for you to trust me I have to be honest. And as long as I’m honest, you will know that you can always trust that it’s all you’re ever going to get from me – my honest opinion.
I know and I’ll say it again – it’s a stretch but it makes sense to me as I hope it makes sense to those reading the madness. It was not always this way. In the past there were times when I said things to appease, to pacify, to placate; but many heartaches and many lost friendships have taught me that the only way to secure lasting relationships is to be honest, let the crap spin out of control and hope that people will understand that sometimes it is their true friends that have to be brutally honest when they love them enough to protect them from the rest of the world.
Separate the crap from the crap!