How many of you have had to fill out and sign dozens of consent and disclosure forms for your kids this school year? I have five sons and one nephew living in my household and every day since school started a week ago it seems like they come home with a brand new set of a dozen forms that need to be read, filled out and signed. It’s like Ground Hog Day sans Andie McDowell to help me keep my head straight.

Do we really need every single class and teacher to come up with their own version of a disclaimer form? Does every teacher really need to inform me that my kid has to adhere to the same rules that they’ve obviously all discussed in their musty faculty room over stale coffee and doughnuts?

I swear the first day of signing these stupid forms nearly drove me over the edge! My fingers were cramped up and I felt like my head was a in vice grip from all the repetition. Each teacher wanted me to write my name, sign my name, write down my home, work and cell phone numbers, write down my work and personal email address and then date it. It is absolutely absurd!

Have you ever written a word down so many times that it begins to look like you’re spelling it wrong because you’ve written it so many times? Well that’s what’s happening to me. And how can you mis-spell a name like Seti Matua? That looks wrong even when you know you’re spelling it right but after writing it six dozen times or more it starts to look like Stupid Moron!

I know those people at school are a lot smarter than I am, so why don’t they just come up with a standard set of rules that everyone needs to live by, throw in a generic consent to go on field trips throughout the year, include a blanket statement that each student and parent will adhere to all rules and regulations as outlined and let me sign it ONCE because I only have one life and I don’t intend on wasting it signing your dumb forms?

This isn’t a mortgage or a marriage contract, this is me saying yes my kid will follow the rules and if he doesn’t I’ll whip out my paddle, you whip out yours, we’ll admire the size of our paddles before we flog our kid for not paying attention or turning in his required assignments. But don’t torture me with your stupid forms because you’re paranoid that he’s going to get lost while watching monkeys smear their crap on the glass enclosure at the zoo. Don’t overkill the ‘these are my rules and you’re gonna live by them buster’ because kids will be kids no matter how many contracts you come up with. And for crap’s sake for a bunch of people who want to save the world, you people sure kill a lot of trees to make all these forms that we have to sign at the beginning of each school year!

C’mon people get your crap together! Signed – Dad who hates all of these stupid crap forms you send home from school every day….AKA Angry Samoan dad with numb fingers and an attitude.

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