Forgive me I have sinned

I have been absent – Missing In Action. I have neglected my blog and for good reason – I just needed a break. Those words sound sacrilegious to a guy who thinks about writing in a religious and in a totally fanatical, unhealthy sort of way. But I since I reference religion I have a confession to make that I am not entirely proud of – I am a needy guy

I’m needy, but not in the way that you would imagine. I am needy for things that are tangible, real and quite frankly, I’m needy for the people who need me. And that is why I have been absent from for a while. Though writing is my passion and I want nothing more than to wake up each morning to write the things that impress or influence me. Writing gives me the liberty to express myself through the tainted lens of my mind while leaving ajar a window to my soul for others to see and allow fresh new ideas and thoughts in as I relinquish my hold on the things that have clouded my mind throughout the course of a day. But sometimes I feel the need to shut out the world complete and concentrate on what lies before me – family, friends.

I have been told that I analyze things way too much and I’m okay with that because I know that there have been moments in my life when I did not analyze things enough and I suffered for it. I find it is important to frequently step back and take a look at my life; take an assessment of the personal, professional and spiritual. We lose sight of what is pertinent in life when we focus primarily on our own selfish ambitions and luckily I have a mechanism that triggers in my head every time I feel like I’m slipping away from reality – its called ownership.

I view my roles as a father, a husband and as a community leader or mentor, as the most important aspects of my being. Ownership for me is less about possessing things and more about accepting responsibility for the people and things that I take on whether its my marriage, my sons, my job, a volunteer post or even my writing. I was never good at being responsible, but I get better all the time and that is a battle that looms large every waking day.

There is no grand confession; no admission to an all-consuming addiction (unless of course you consider writing and social media an addiction to which I would readily plead guilty). If there is any sin to confess I acknowledge quite openly that I am often indolent and I am a slow learner but I will not use either of these ‘sins’ as an excuse to neglect my responsibilities nor will I use these to justify my inability to rise above the poverty line or mistreat another human being.

My absence on has dealt a severe blow to my credibility as a writer, blogger and social media expert. But I would rather lose a thousand regular readers (I’m over-estimating my own worth to the world), than lose face with the people who matter most to me.

My re-evaluation of life and writing has given me this – Do your absolute best with what troubles you most and forget about the rest. So here’s to another chapter in the ongoing story of and my life.

6 thoughts on “Forgive me I have sinned

  1. I’ve missed your blog – it’s like coffee on a Monday, someone offering you a ride when you’re stuck in a rainstorm….or better yet – divine sushi after a week of rice and meat. Glad you’re back Seti!

  2. “…I would rather lose a thousand regular readers (I’m over-estimating my own worth to the world), than lose face with the people who matter most to me.”
    Nuff said, really.

    (Yes, maybe over-estimating a little, but what they hey, such as we are we missed you, understand and respect your reasons, and are just glad you’re ok.)

  3. You’re only human brother. 🙂 I’ve also missed your writing, even though I don’t comment I do read them all. Sounds to me like you’ve got your priorities straight on! Happy day SETI! 🙂

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