Complaining is very draining

Hear-No-Evil-See-No-Evil-Speak-No-EvilBenjamin Franklin reminded me of an important human failing – one that I am repeatedly guilty of on a daily sometimes hourly basis, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.”

I complain – a lot! And when I’m not complaining I make snide comments, I’m sarcastic or I’m just plain cynical. I honestly never realized that this was something that I did (too) regularly until Super Mom pointed it out to me one day.

“You need to stop being negative,” Super mom said on one of my particularly raging and less than stellar days.

“I’m being negative?”

“Yeah, you don’t really know it but everything you’ve said so far today has been negative.”

It took me a bit by surprise but it also gave me a moment to think about the way that I respond to any and every situation in life. I took a step back and made a more conscious effort to listen to my own interactions with others as well as the communications between other people and I was surprised by what I found. My response to a lot of things around me is unfavorable. And though I’ve tried my best to  confine my responses to more favorable ones I have found that even when I am doing my best to be more cognizant of what I say it doesn’t mean that it makes it any easier.

It also makes me very aware of what people say around me. Last week and this weekend we have been at graduations, in the airport, at restaurants and in many other places where there are a lot of people. During the course of our travels I have eavesdropped on many conversations and found that this is more a part of human nature and the culture that we live in. it is part of our DNA. As people we just love to complain.

We complain about free food – dude its free. If you don’t like it, give it to someone who will appreciate it.

We complain about the weather – no matter what they say and no matter how advanced technology is it cannot be predicted and we have absolutely no control over it.

We complain about other people – if you don’t like how they make you feel than you have the right to walk away and never look back. Complaining about them is not going to make things better for you or for them.

We complain about government, churches, hotel rooms, restaurants, our jobs, our families even our own complexion, our weight and the way our jeans sit on our hips. This is the way that we have been raised – to find fault whether its fact or fiction with just about everything.

What can we do? The only thing that we can do and the only thing that we can control is our own reaction and response to any given situation. I still struggle with it every day but I know that when I am more positive; when I show gratitude and exude warmth than everyone around me reciprocates and the energy is more positive. People enjoy being around positive people and I am working really hard to be more positive at all times. Will you?

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